once upon a time

the stories in my head

ringostarring:

ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us

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well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws

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what did you say, punk?

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bIG

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MEATY

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CLAWS

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WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES

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BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON

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no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF

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OH SO NOW THE TALKING CHEESE IS GONNA PREACH TO US

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i fuckin hate the type of person who enters a room when a show is on and starts talking. what the fuck is wrong with you. who the fuck raised you. are you an animal. get out of my house

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”